Guttentag my worthy story connoisseurs!
This week sees the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street, that much-loved stalwart of kiducational television and all of us here at the Frankenlab confess to being massive fans of the show. This is partly because we’d all secretly love to be best friends with Elmo and partly because The Count was an old dance partner of Igor’s mum back in Transylvania (in fact Igor’s slightly pointy canines and obsessive love of algebra does make me wonder sometimes).
Either way we were shocked by the recent criminal allegations brought to light by Frankenstory detectives Maffew and Alex about a certain well-know Muppet. Could there be really a secret dark side to the world’s favourite frog?
There had always seemed to be a rain storm when there was a new murder, he had gotten used to that over the years, it made examining the scene a bitch, but something here wasn’t right; the blood wasn’t washing off. Kermit looked down and placed his hands under the tap once again, the blood upon his green skin reminiscent of a macabre array christmas colours. All he needed now was some lights and tinsel. He chuckled to himself, was this insanity? Everything started to dissolve around him, the walls became glitter, vertigo hit. Did murdering someone really have this much off an effect on your mind? No, something was doing this, but what, who else knew?! The city was on to him. He never thought Miss Piggy would be so widely missed, she was no Beaker or Gonzo. He would have to admit it all to the police, his status as a Muppet would be disgraced forever. Jim Henson rolled in his grave.
(See the original story here)
Could it be true? Is our beloved singing amphibian really a raving homicidal maniac or is he being framed for a crime he didn’t Ker-mit?
Fear not, dear readers, I have it on good authority that Maffew and Alex are none other than crotchety Muppet theatre critics Statler and Waldorf in disguise, hell-bent on sabotaging the Kermit’s career!
Big Bird and Mr. Snuffleupagus have been duly dispatched to administer some ‘Muppet Justice’ so I don’t think we’ll be hearing from those troublemakers again.
Until next time, stay googly-eyed and endearingly cuddly.
Muppet-tastically yours,
Dr. Victor E. Frankenstory
(P.s. Today’s Frankenstory was brought to you by the letters ‘F’ and ‘S’ and by the number 40. Happy birthday Sesame Street!)
I may have learned the equivalent of several years’ worth of elementary education from watching Sesame Street