Entries tagged ‘frankenstories’

Our First Frankencontest!

February 18th, 2010 by Dr. Frankenstory

Guten Abend!

Welcome friends, both new and old, to ‘The Frankenlab’, the place where I, Doctor Victor Emelius Frankenstory, showcase the finest contributions to Frankenstory.com (the story writing game where two freakishly misshapen heads are better than one).

This week sees much excitement in store for the Frankenstory crew as we leave depart from our secret underground lab  in wintery Geneva, bound for the hustle and bustle of old London Town. Our destination is ‘The Story’, a one-day conference which seeks to unite wordsmiths, raconteurs, fable-tellers,  imagineers, plot-pushers, chronicle-junkies and ragtag vagabonds from the narrative super-highway, all looking to celebrate the joy of a tale well told.

As this is our maiden voyage to good old Blighty (and the first time my hunchback butler Igor has ventured overseas since his disastrous appearance on ‘Transylvania’s got Talent’), we’ve decided to celebrate the occasion with our first ever Frankenstory competition.

That’s right, over the coming months we’ll be challenging our Frankenfans to blow our stinky little socks off with their literary creations for the chance to win a very special prize. To enter, you must  submit a completed story to the Frankenstory website by simply logging on to Frankenstory.com, following the instructions and badgering a friend into becoming the story-writing sidekick to your narrative superhero.

“But Dr. Frankenstory” I hear you cry “pray tell, just what is this fabulous prize with which you tantalise us so?”

Well, meinen freunden, we’ve convinced Mademoiselles Lady and Small to lovingly hand craft a unique piece of Frankenstory memorabilia for our lucky winners. Assembled from authentic bits and bobs from our very own secret laboratory, it promises to be part beast, part marvel and 100% bonkers (and we can’t guarantee that it won’t gnaw your fingers off either). You can’t buy this in the shops (in fact we’re not even sure we’ll get it through customs!) so you can rest assured you’ll have a one-of-a-kind creation to scare the grandkids with.

So there it is, Frankenfans, your chance to become part of Frankenstory history as our first ever competition winner!

Remember to follow me @frankenstory on Twitter where I’ll be documenting our thoughts and experiences  of ‘The Story’ and if you happen be at the conference and you  spot a dashing silver-haired scientific genius and a butler who looks like a haemorrhoid, do come over and say guten tag.

Anyway, must dash – there’s an Easyjet from Geneva with our name on it and Igor’s itching to add to his sick-bag collection.

See you at ‘The Story’

Internationally yours,

Dr. Victor E Frankenstory

Posted in News and Updates | No Comments

Djinn and Tonic

October 28th, 2009 by Dr. Frankenstory

Tricky little buggers, genies.

We recently had an unfortunate incident with a dodgy djinn right here in the Frankenlab when Igor returned from his  summer holiday to Morocco. It was there that our lumpy adventurer inadvertently picked up a supernatural stowaway whilst browsing for bargains in the dusty backstreets of old Marrakesh.

Ironically it turns out it wasn’t the 1000 year-old mystic amulet he bought that caused the bother, but rather the innocent-looking bottle of anti-diarrhea tablets that he procured from the dodgy chemist shop round the corner. Who’d have guessed that modern genies prefer the mod cons of mass-produced plastics and child-proof safety caps to ancient tin lamps eh?

Needless to say that the almighty case of ‘traveller’s tummy’ that the grumpy genie inflicted on poor Igor when he tried to stow the bottle in the Frankenlab’s medicine cabinet was truly not of this world! Put it this way, if I’d have had three wishes that day, they would have been for air freshener, ear plugs and a month’s supply of toilet tissue.

Still, a dose of the ‘green apple splatters’ seems positively lacklustre compared to the genie-related grief doled out in the following Frankenstory by Roslyn and Baxter…

Once upon a time, I tripped over a small lamp in the middle of the road. It was quite grubby, so I wiped it clean. To my great surprise, a genie popped out and said, “You have three wishes! Choose wisely!” Unbeknown to anyone, it was written in the (unwritten) binding genie contract that the wishes were more open to interpretation than literal translation. Oblivious to this, the air became electric with excitement – it was time for wish number one… “I wish I could turn into a cat whenever I wanted” “Done!” “I wish I really did have 9 lives!” “Done!” Ecstatic, I wondered what else to wish for. It was awesome enough being a cat with nine lives, what else!? Delighted with the results of her previous wishes, she tackled her last with a grin. “I wish that I’ll be this happy for the rest of my life!” “Granted” said the genie, slowly pulling out a gun. And she was.

(See the original story here)

Mein Gott,  I guess they really rubbed him up the wrong way!

Mystically yours,

Dr. Victor E. Frankenstory

Posted in frankenstories | No Comments

Transylvania's Got Talent

July 4th, 2009 by Dr. Frankenstory

Salutations noble Franken fans!

It has been a time of much excitement this week at the Frankenlab as we learned that our very own misshapen hunchback manservant Igor had progressed through the semi finals of ‘Transylvania’s got Talent’ (Transylvania’s top-rated tea-time family extravaganza!).

Two days ago we took a horse-drawn cab to the local airport and waved adieu to our lumpy butler as he took off skyward in a battered second-hand weather balloon, bound for his home town of Cluj-Napoca (where the finals were due to occur).  This afternoon we received a missive from Igor via carrier pigeon that although he had (eventually) reached his destination, things hadn’t quite gone according to plan.

Apparently it wasn’t because his enthusiastic cover of ‘My Humps’ by the Black Eyed Peas was out of tune or even that his rather-too-revealing ‘Fergie’ costume was a little tight in the booty area. No, the real trouble came at the bar at the after show party where stroppy host, Simön Cowellzakó, had clearly had too much to drink. Poor Igor, still in costume, found himself being pawed by the amorous presenter who clearly wanted to take a closer look at our hero’s ‘lady lumps’.

Needless to say one head butt, three paramedics and a police caution later Igor arrived dejected back at the Frankenlab having been eliminated from the show and deported from the county.

Still, I reckon he escaped with most of his dignity in tact, unlike to poor subject of this musical Frankenstory extravaganza penned by by Kryssi McCluney and Jeremy Snow…

The plunging neckline of her dress attracted the eyes of every man sitting in red velvet seats. The conductor raised his baton and the orchestra began. From her mouth came sugary melodic notes of Puccini’s Quando Me’n Vo’. The audience fell silent. Singing Puccini as karaoke at a bar was outlandish for some, but for her, it was all too common. A retired opera singer, she warbled the notes like an inebriated nightingale,dancing from the stage onto the bar room floor while singing. The hardwood floor smashed into her face. A snap of cartalidge was heard by some. As she sat up in her sequenced dress, a scarlet stream ran from her nose. She thought to herself, ‘Who sings Musetta in a bar anyways?” The bartender had seen it all before. “Poor girl.” he thought as she stumbled over the bar and threw her gargantuan weight down on a bar stool. He walked from behind the counter and yelled “Its over, the fat lady sang.”

(See the original story here).

Until next time stay saucy, pop pickers.

Bootyliciously yours,

Dr. Victor E. Frankenstory

Posted in frankenstories | 1 Comment

Suffer the Children

June 28th, 2009 by Dr. Frankenstory

Ach mein Gott, what a morning!

Today saw the Frankenlab’s first (and may I hastily add LAST) ‘bring your kids to work day’.  What started off a morale- building exercise for the team quickly turned to chaos when my little nephew Ralphie discovered the lab’s supply of medicinal alcohol, one of Elsie’s puppies got stuck in the air conditioning outlet and Igor’s socially maladjusted two-year-old son, Klunk, nearly lost a finger whilst trying to feed a Dr. Miriam Stoppard book to our story monster.Still, judging from the submissions we’ve been getting through to the Frankenlab, we’re not the only ones having nightmares about unruly kids!

Take this Frankenstory submitted a while back by Sam and Jeff- a terrifying exploration of what happens if you turn a nursery school class into a bunch of mini Rambos…

Only one thought crossed my mind at the sight of the thousand four-year-olds wielding knives: The end is near. After that, I wondered for a bit about what monster would even arm a thousand four-year-olds, and I ultimately blamed the preschools. The preschools seemed like the only logical choice: who else would have the power to transform one thousand kids into soldiers of destruction and doom? I realized then that I must act alone. No one would believe that teachers were terrorists. Regardless, I had a more pressing issue on my hands – the current group of youthful sprites insistent upon stabbing me in the chest. I knew I had no way of defeating the youngsters in straight-up combat. What could I do? I realized the only way to defeat them was stealth. I fashioned a disguise, made from newspaper, and I waited. One by one, I surprised them with a back stab. It’s just a matter of time before they all die.

(see the original story here)

I blame the parents. But then again, maybe their psychotic urges are coming from a far more benign influence as Katie and Mary’s journey into the dark side of Santa’s workshop reveals…

The urge to kill was rising. Little Johnny Sprinkles was sitting, comtemplating stabbing every last elf in the room. Santa came in, making sure all were working on their toys. Johnny got back to work, building yet another toy fire truck. Ralph loved his job at the beginning — who wouldn’t love the job Tom Hanks got in “Big”? He got to revisit his childhood every day. But now, a year later, constantly coming up with new ideas was wearing on him so he made a decision. The idea had been rolling around in his little elf head for quite sometime. It slowly began to fester, and before he knew it all he could think about was executing his glorious plan to destroy the toy company once and for all. All the Tinker Toys, Legos, and Barbies would go up in flames, and no one would be able to pin it on him — because he would be dead. It was perfect.

(see the original story here)

Terrifying stuff,eh? I bet you’ll all be trying extra hard to stay off the ‘naughty list’ this Christmas knowing that Santa’s little helpers are like a cross between Jack the Ripper and Michael Douglas in ‘Falling Down’.

Anyway, must dash, Klunk’s just found our scalpel cupboard and Ralphie’s making a beeline towards my vintage single malt.

Keep the stories coming in!

Scientifically yours,

Doctor Victor E. Frankenstory. x

Posted in frankenstories | No Comments

Welcome to 'The Frankenlab'

June 27th, 2009 by Dr. Frankenstory

Hello dear friends, welcome to the Frankenlab, the place where I’ll be preserving some of your most interesting submissions for posterity in a glorious ‘Frankenstory Hall of Fame’. Think of it as a kind of taxidermy display for your stories where I lovingly stuff and mount some of your freakiest creations (before gluing googly eyes to them and using them to scare small children).

This isn’t a competition to determine which of your submissions are the best and there will be many excellent tales that never grace the pickling jars of the Frankenlab. However each story I pick will have done something really interesting which will hopefully go on to inspire other players.

It could be a brilliantly written story, something side-splittingly funny, something really dark and mysterious or something experimental that makes us sit up and take notice. Then again it could just as easily be two halves of a tale that come together to create something downright weird or a story with a deliciously topical twist.

So why not get writing and who knows, maybe you’ll spawn something freaky enough to grab my attention?

Monster hugs,

Dr. Victor E. Frankenstory.

Posted in News and Updates | No Comments

Guten Tag From Doctor Victor Frankenstory!

June 27th, 2009 by Dr. Frankenstory

Willkommen my esteemed story scientists!

I am Dr. Victor Emelius Frankenstory, eminent physicist, prolific wordsmith and three-time North Tyrolean table tennis champion (1957-1959). I am also the creator of www.frankenstory.com, the world’s greatest literary experiment.

Based in my secret Frankenlab (hidden somewhere beneath an abandoned Cuckoo-clock factory in downtown Geneva) my incredible monstrous machine works day and night to weave fabulously freaky narratives from stories submitted by writers just like you. In fact, I suspect the only reason I have not yet won the Nobel Prize is due to the fact that they cannot decide whether to give it to me for science or literature!

Ably assisted by my manservant Igor and my Rottweiler, Elsie, I take stories submitted to the Frankenstory website from pairs of writers all around the world and splice them together to create magnificently mutated hybrid tales.

You’ll soon be able to find examples of some of the most interesting  stories right here in my ‘Frankenlab’ blog where I’ll be dissecting some of the more unusual specimens  for your inspirational pleasure (before stuffing them full of sawdust, sewing them back up and mounting them on polished mahogony stands to show off to my dinnerparty guests).

You can  follow my adventures right here in my blog and also through Twitter where I’ll I’ll be sharing all the new developments from the Frankenlab and highlighting other great writing resources from around the web to help you find inspiration.

So why not have a go yourself? Just log on to www.frankenstory.com and start writing a story with the friend of your choice.

(Just try not to disturb Igor, he gets distinctly tetchy if anything distracts him from the latest episode of Desperate Housewives).

Posted in News and Updates | No Comments